I see everyone in the castle beginning to find love amongst each other. Most except for myself, Lexaeus, Zexion, Demyx, Luxord, Xaldin…I mean, I’m happy for everyone who has found someone. Axel has Roxas, Marluxia has Vexen. Xigbar has Xaldin. Larxene has Naminé.

The castle seemed as bleak as always. Yet, there is a difference in everything. The moon between everyone seemed to become oddly lifted. All except the beloved Superior. His cold heart--or lack there of--seemed to have blocked himself away from the others. Nevertheless, he couldn’t ever give a chance to even be a tad bit nice.
Even if nobodies didn’t actually have hearts, who said they were cold, ruthless, evil, tormenters? Demyx is always nice, as well as typically Axel. Marluxia most of the time…almost all of them. However, not the one who needs some kind of kindness.

I can hear their words to each other. They’re giving each other their eternal vows, and promising there is a forever for them. It sickens me.

Xemnas stalked through the corridors, looming his large mass around in a creepy fashion. He glanced to the rooms, where people spoke inside of the doors. Everything was slowly falling apart in his world. Maybe because the one he wished for, begin to fade from his reach.
The man that he fancied was being friendlier with other members, and straying from his side. Even as faithful as his second-in-command could be, Saïx was becoming a lost cause to him.

Why is it that he keeps rejecting me?

“Superior,” an innocent voice said, in which he turned to face, “Xigbar is trying to shoot the furniture in the main room, again.”
Xemnas nodded. “I’ll take care of him, IX.” he seemed calm about the fact that things were being destroyed by a gun. However, his mind was too on other things for it to matter all that much at the moment. He’d talk to Xigbar a bit later about his…ninja problems with hanging on the ceiling and shooting anything that tends to move. Maybe that’s why he never allowed anyone to have a pet.
Demyx happily went off to meet up near Luxord, and Demyx had a smile on his face, talking to him, obviously knowing that at least he had someone who always cared.
Xemnas felt his stomach churn, as he left that hall, and went onto another one in which he was alone. It was quiet. At least one place in this entire castle was. With thirteen different people running around, it was hard to find a place that no one could bother you in.
Why not pay a visit to Saïx? What could he be doing, anyways? It was a time when he knew Saïx didn’t really have all that much to do.
He entered the hall where Saïx’s chamber was, and moved himself to hiss door. He needed to think of a reason on why he was visiting. Hmm. Maybe something about taking care of Xigbar for him? Well, it’s the best he had on short notice.
His hand balled into a fist, as he rose it into the air, about to knock, before voices came from inside. His hand gently went back down to his side, letting himself listen to the slightly hard to hear words from beyond this one forbidden door.
“Always yours.”
“Please, keep going.”
“Kiss me.”
“No one will bother us…”
“I hope not…”
‘The moon shines in your eyes.”
Xemnas felt is stomach sink, and suddenly felt as if he had stopped breathing. His fists curled tightly, and he forced himself to walk away from the door. Yeah, he knew both voices. At least half of what he heard was Saïx himself…the other voice?

He betrayed me. He isn’t open for me anymore. He could never love me. I’m a monster. I should exist. I don’t exist. How could I be so foolish as to think he would ever wish to become mine?

Before even leaving the hallway, his fists drove into the wall, and made a loud thud.
Within moments, Saïx opened his door, and peered out from the darkness of his room. “Superior? Is everything all right?”
He came from the room, only wearing a sheet around his waist.

Seeing his flawless body. It makes me weak. And to know that it’s not mine…

Xemnas looked back at him. “Indeed. Nothing wrong here. Just thinking.” He turned away from him, trying to keep the hurt in his eyes away from the onlooker. “I have a few things to take care of. Carry on, VII.” even if he didn’t want to, he referred to Saïx as his number, and then left. It hurt him to not say his actual name. He really didn’t want hi name stuck in his head right now…But, he couldn’t help it right now. Not anymore…

That stupid boy. I can’t go near him. I’d hold his hand, and kiss him tenderly. His golden eyes can be enough to give me a heart, and let me love! But…he’s found someone else. Someone who’s face I never want to see again. Even if I knew his name…

Xemnas returned to his room, closing the door, being too careless to lock it. He picked up a small table near the door, and just threw it into a wall, watching it splinter and break into tiny shards. He felt hi mind slipped into a moment of insanity, as he felt himself almost going into tears. Was a man in his position even allowed to cry? He didn’t want to. Not over this…
Once he got to the floor, he felt his conscious became to slip from his room, to a blackened state. He didn’t ant to come to terms with what he’d believed happened beyond his loved one’s door. He didn’t want those sounds to be true.

I knew that a heart’s purpose was never to love. That was all that stood between myself and what I wanted. To follow my heart brought me to that door. I would rather live in ignorance then have to know what happened. Myself and VII were close. Too close. And once I got myself too into my feelings for this man…everything fell.

Xemnas felt arms wrap around his shoulders from behind, and another body was sitting on the floor with him.
“Even with what everyone else says…I still love you. Let me comfort you while no one else can.”

I can’t believe the one person who cares right now is him…he came into my room, and is trying to comfort me. It’s new.

Xemnas turned to face the other figure, and returned a few kind caresses, and let his arms wrap around them.


But who is it?